Monday, July 18, 2011

Simon's Rebuttal, Part One


My dear audience, this is Jake, also known as the Second Simon by those who don't realize that I was here first. I only have three words for you to start: youngsters these days! They have no staying power. Cookie has been lounging about, doing nothing, ever since she won her position as head of the entertainment division! It seems like all she even wanted was to just say that she got one over on Simon, and since then, she's been good-for-nothing.

Cookie has officially turned the blog over to me, Jake, until Simon lands on his feet, as all cats do, and takes back over again. Not that she put it that way, of course. She just waved a paw and said, "It's all cool, Second Simon. Just go away."

I've said it once and I'll say it again-- youngsters! It's a sad state of affairs when a cat can't even keep hold of what was hard won, and we all know that Simon is Badder than Cookie could ever hope to be.

The first of Simon's take-back attempts was a mixture of adorability and annoyingness. (Yes, both of those are indeed words.) By laying on the blood machine, he obstructed work and provided a cuddly mass of devious feline intelligence to distract from any work that could be accomplished without the blood machine. It was a brilliant opening ploy. In reply... Cookie didn't notice. Her passive tactics of cuteness might have stolen her the position of head of the entertainment division in the first place, but they won't let her keep it. It's Simon's ingenuity that will win the day.

No, there is no white-cats-only prejudice going on here! Silence!

Until next week,
your affable author,
Jake

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