Simon's Rebuttal, Part Two

What's this, you might say? Simon is in the medicine cabinet?

It is a brilliant ploy, I have to admit. Bottles knocked every which way, work disrupted for precious minutes, and countless volumes of hilarity caused. Simon is the master of causing rueful admiration. People run for cameras whenever he does bad things, whereas Cookie just can't manage to be quite as photogenic. She doesn't have the charisma that we white cats ha-- I mean, that Simon has. Himself. Not me. *cough*

The humans were so amused by his doings that they ran for the camera and even put him back in when, humble, he tried to leave. Or escape the scene of the crime. I'm not quite sure of his reasoning, there.

Unless Cookie starts actually trying to hold her position, I'm afraid that Simon's going to win this and will not only receive back his title of head of the entertainment division, but also receive the title of King of Bad!

With some reservation,
yours,
Jake

Simon's Rebuttal, Part One

My dear audience, this is Jake, also known as the Second Simon by those who don't realize that I was here first. I only have three words for you to start: youngsters these days! They have no staying power. Cookie has been lounging about, doing nothing, ever since she won her position as head of the entertainment division! It seems like all she even wanted was to just say that she got one over on Simon, and since then, she's been good-for-nothing.

Cookie has officially turned the blog over to me, Jake, until Simon lands on his feet, as all cats do, and takes back over again. Not that she put it that way, of course. She just waved a paw and said, "It's all cool, Second Simon. Just go away."

I've said it once and I'll say it again-- youngsters! It's a sad state of affairs when a cat can't even keep hold of what was hard won, and we all know that Simon is Badder than Cookie could ever hope to be.

The first of Simon's take-back attempts was a mixture of adorability and annoyingness. (Yes, both of those are indeed words.) By laying on the blood machine, he obstructed work and provided a cuddly mass of devious feline intelligence to distract from any work that could be accomplished without the blood machine. It was a brilliant opening ploy. In reply... Cookie didn't notice. Her passive tactics of cuteness might have stolen her the position of head of the entertainment division in the first place, but they won't let her keep it. It's Simon's ingenuity that will win the day.

No, there is no white-cats-only prejudice going on here! Silence!

Until next week,
your affable author,
Jake