*plotplotplot*

There is a fact about cats which is little known. That is because we cats are above all of this nonsense about laying things on the table. We prefer laying under tables, and stairs, and chairs-- in all the hidden places of universe so that we can pounce out and destroy your sense of peace.

We cats are awesome.

So, back to the little known fact, because I digress. Or maybe this is relevant. Who says I have to say whether it is or not? But hey, I'm the King of Bad! Put up with it or IN THE STOCKS with you!

Cats are contortionists. We can fit into tiny spaces. It goes along with that whole "hidden places of the universe" thing. And also, that "cute on purpose" thing. What? You already knew about that we're cute on purpose, if you've ever met a cat at all. And if you haven't met a cat, where have you been your whole life? Heathen! Into the stocks!

Okay. I swear I'm done with my power trip.

Okay, no. I'm not. Don't you wonder about the radio silence for the past month? Don't you wonder what happened to Cookie, the Usurper? I've been putting plans into place. Doing Things. Important Things. Awesome Things.

Ah, but let's not discuss work at a time like this. Relax. I know what I'm doing.

This is Simon, contortionist cat, cat of cute, King of Bad,
saying farewell until next time.