I've made a Lolcat! VOTE FOR ME! I am awesome and the entire world should recognize it. Just rate the photo five hamburgers and all will be well. Otherwise, all may not be well, and I may need to be Bad.
Much love,
Simon
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
All your base belong to Simon!
Greetings, Earthlings!
Simon here, coming to you from beyond the stars, above the heavens, because let's be honest, I am a god. The cat god of awesome. This shouldn't surprise you.
Ever since Dr. Wood went on vacation, my job has been so easy. It turns out that having a second cat in the entertainment department is really great, because she makes all the trouble! Takes down the curtains, shreds the couch upstairs a little... basically, all I've had to do is laze about and be praised for the giant steps forward my department has been making. Well, if anyone appreciated me here, that would be happening, anyway! They owe me some of the 'nip! Hopefully, Cookie doesn't grow out of the job.... She is just a kitten. Well, here's hoping.
We did get one awesome thing because of all of our trouble. Dr. Wood bought us a fleece to go on the couch upstairs, since we were having a whole lot of fun amusing everyone by letting them see what we did with it next. Now, we have a fleece to sit on! Badness is always rewarded in some way. It's a good business.
Your beloved overlord,
Simon here, coming to you from beyond the stars, above the heavens, because let's be honest, I am a god. The cat god of awesome. This shouldn't surprise you.
Ever since Dr. Wood went on vacation, my job has been so easy. It turns out that having a second cat in the entertainment department is really great, because she makes all the trouble! Takes down the curtains, shreds the couch upstairs a little... basically, all I've had to do is laze about and be praised for the giant steps forward my department has been making. Well, if anyone appreciated me here, that would be happening, anyway! They owe me some of the 'nip! Hopefully, Cookie doesn't grow out of the job.... She is just a kitten. Well, here's hoping.
We did get one awesome thing because of all of our trouble. Dr. Wood bought us a fleece to go on the couch upstairs, since we were having a whole lot of fun amusing everyone by letting them see what we did with it next. Now, we have a fleece to sit on! Badness is always rewarded in some way. It's a good business.
Your beloved overlord,
Simon
Monday, October 11, 2010
Who Stole the Cookie?
It seems like our short-term addition has become long-term. Trust me, I am not a pleased cat. She's too cute-- I just know that she's planning on stealing my job in the entertainment department! What exactly is she planning on? Mine is a one-cat department, not a two-cat department!
They're calling her "Cookie." That's such a stupid name. I can't believe what they're doing to me! I was doing my job perfectly, just going along, being my bad self, and then they get another cat! Don't they think I'm doing my job? Don't they think that I'm awesome. :(
...I wonder if I can let her outside when they're not looking.
Resentfully yours,
They're calling her "Cookie." That's such a stupid name. I can't believe what they're doing to me! I was doing my job perfectly, just going along, being my bad self, and then they get another cat! Don't they think I'm doing my job? Don't they think that I'm awesome. :(
...I wonder if I can let her outside when they're not looking.
Resentfully yours,
Simon
Saturday, October 2, 2010
The Tale of Two Simons
Hi all! I am here to tell you the mysterious and strange Tale of Two Simons.
First, there was one Simon. This Simon's name is Jake. He sits on the left of the picture. He is well-liked by all, but is nowhere near as awesome as the second Simon. The second Simon sits on the right. He is handsome and has personality, and is your fine narrator. All was well in the land of two Simons until people began to realize that if they didn't feed the second, more awesome Simon less, he would look as round as the first, less awesome Simon.
And then began The Diet. This Diet was not a form of parliament, but something infinitely more evil. It turns out that The Diet involves... giving Simons less food.
EGADS! HORRORS! NOOOOO!
So on one paw, I weigh less now and they'll actually stop reducing my food. On the other paw, they've been feeding me less food. On the third paw, they leave around sandwiches that I can eat, so it's not that bad. On the fourth paw, I know how to disconnect all of their phones in retribution.
The good is balanced by the bad.
This is Simon, your beloved blog-writer,
signing off.
First, there was one Simon. This Simon's name is Jake. He sits on the left of the picture. He is well-liked by all, but is nowhere near as awesome as the second Simon. The second Simon sits on the right. He is handsome and has personality, and is your fine narrator. All was well in the land of two Simons until people began to realize that if they didn't feed the second, more awesome Simon less, he would look as round as the first, less awesome Simon.
And then began The Diet. This Diet was not a form of parliament, but something infinitely more evil. It turns out that The Diet involves... giving Simons less food.
EGADS! HORRORS! NOOOOO!
So on one paw, I weigh less now and they'll actually stop reducing my food. On the other paw, they've been feeding me less food. On the third paw, they leave around sandwiches that I can eat, so it's not that bad. On the fourth paw, I know how to disconnect all of their phones in retribution.
The good is balanced by the bad.
signing off.
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