VICTORY!

Hello dear blog readers!

It's Simon again-- no, no, stop crying. I know the joy is too much for you to handle, but please, try. You're embarrassing me. The last battle of the War of the Usurper has finally been won. (The Second Simon named it. Isn't he great?)

The Battle of the Curtain will go down in feline history as one of the great battles. Cookie thought that she was just doing a corporate takeover, but didn't realize that she was getting a war for the history books.

I can hardly believe I've won. It's taken so long, and this blog was so neglected during the Reign of the Usurper. Jake did his best, but the struggles were sometimes too much for him, and getting permission from the Usurper to begin with was difficult. But we've prevailed. Our travail is finished; we're entering the Golden Age of Bad, where the humans will be happy and the cats will be naughty.

Okay, let's face it: it's gonna be freaking awesome.

Cheers,
Simon

Simon's Rebuttal, Part Three

The latest in Simon's attempts to regain his position as head of the entertainment division-- and perhaps even be promoted to King of Bad!-- has been been "helping."

To understand what a smart idea this is for him, you have to keep in mind that "helping" is a time-honored cat tradition. Countless of our forefathers (known as "foretoms" in certain dialects of meow) have studied this art and honed it to such an extent that the ability to "help" can make or break a cat's attempt to do bad. Simon softens the irritable edges of his "helping" by providing an adorable view and being innocently mischievous about what he does. This keeps the humans from being disturbed overly much, but lightens up their moods and keeps them entertained.

Meanwhile, Cookie... slept. And slept. And slept some more. Has she considered yet that cuteness will only get her so far? I've tried to advise her, but she won't take my generous words in the spirit of which they're given-- she only says I'm trying to help Simon. Admittedly, us Ceiling Cats are better than her cranky calico ways, but I still do my best to help whomsoever asks!

I wonder what will happen in this struggle next?

Moreover, if Simon is made King of Bad, will I be the Chronicler of Badness? A truly historically important position, befitting my age and majesty of stature.

Indeed. If these youngsters will just sort out their differences and let the clinic's cat struggle stabilize, all will be well and I can take on an extremely rewarding position!

Cookie! Simon! Get right on that.

Leaving you with one last war photo of Simon,
eagerly yours,
Jake