This is your friendly neighborhood Bad Cat. I would like to take a moment out of your day to point your attention to the landscape in this picture I have here:
Yes, you will note that something is lacking in this picture, something that I really wish was lacking in the real world. SNOW! Why is there snow in the real world?! I WANT TO LIVE IN THE PICTURE. There's nothing interesting to look at but white. I'm white; I don't need more of it around, even if it does mirror the awesome color of me. I mean, seriously, I know how awesome I am, but I don't need nature to try to mimic me. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but it's not, it's really not, because I am an Individual Cat, Unique, Awesome. I don't need nature trying to imitate me, cuz it can't even come close.
No badness. Cold. Too much white. Where's my personal heater? What badness do I have to do for it? Cats should be able to hibernate.
No love,
Simon
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