The honest truth (I swear to Santa Paws himself!) I wasn't trying to kill Dr. Salvatore. Mostly. Okay, but there was a tie involved. A tie. Ties dangle. One can't expect a cat not to attach himself to the nearest tie, right? Right?! That's just too much to ask, that I not want to claw it and bite it and strangle Dr. Salvatore, just a little.
He makes himself an easy target, wearing ties. Yeah, that's right! I blame him! And they find my behavior charming, anyway! They do!
It was an innocent mistake, the strangling. See, he bent down to pet me, and the tie was right there, and I was so close and it was just a little bit of strangling! Of course, then the fool tried to take it away from me! A scurrilous mistake! CHOMP! MY TIE, thank you very much!
Needless to say, I won the epic Battle of the Tie and gained a victory prize.
With all the composure and grace of a tie-wearing doctor-cat or lawyer-cat,
I am yours, in both badness and the rare good times.
Sincerely,
Simon
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