[Myth] The Great Mother Cat

Long ago, before humans invented time, the universe was empty of all but a race of great mother cats. One in particular is relevant to our history here on Earth. Although she was a mother cat, she had no children and had never had any, which meant that though she was incredibly well-rested, she was also quite bored. In her travels, she found herself looking down on Earth with a frown.

"This world is my bowl of goldfish," she said, "but where are all the goldfish?"

She then decided that she would find the "goldfish" to put on the world to amuse herself with or create what she had to. She was a mother, after all. Creation was what she was good at. Then she took a nap.

Due to her great need for frequent naps, as well as her short attention span, it took the great mother cat forty-nine days and nights to populate the world with her minions. At least, this is the current estimate; the rudimentary humans she populated the world with hadn't gotten much further in their methods of counting than grunting and pointing.

After she was done, the great mother cat yawned and chose a part of the world to settle down in, curling up to sleep. We have not heard from her again. Most scholars believe that she settled down in Egypt and that the Great Sphinx was built around her. A few other scholars believe that she left this world to populate more of the universe, as eventually this "bowl of goldfish" grew too boring for her.

Then there are those who believe she is still among us in this world, hiding among the other cats and laughing at us with a gleam in her eyes.

Almost everycat is certain that wherever she is, when she sleeps, she dreams of us.

Moral: Catnaps are important, but so is waking up to play afterward.

[Myth] Afa and the Bird

Once upon a time, cats ruled the world. This was in the time of Egypt, of Assyria, of Phoenicia. It was a time of sand and heat. These were the favored conditions for cats, so they thrived and grew as a species. They were worshiped as gods; Bast, Sekhmet-- only two of the many goddesses associated with cats.

Over the sands of Egypt rose a dynasty of cats. After years of battles with the jackals of the desert, the mighty cats rose as rulers of the land. The first Cat King was actually a Queen, and her name was Afa. As was the custom in the land, Afa was disguised as a king rather than a queen, and lived her life pretending to be a male cat.

One day, Afa was strolling down the banks of the Nile and she came upon a bird. This was a water bird, leggy and long-necked, with a great beak and narrow eyes. It was a savage creature to any unwary fish, but it had been brought low. On the side of that great river, it lay. Afa sat beside it and pondered. She would have loved to have been the one to catch the water bird, but eating it while it lay there seemed like too little of a challenge to her.

"What are you waiting for?" asked water bird. "Do you not plan to eat me?"

"I do," Afa proclaimed, rising to all four feet, "but I will not eat you if you are less than your best."

So for forty-nine days and nights, Afa nursed the water bird back to health in the comfort of her palace. She gave it broth made of fish, bathed its wounds in the softest of silks, and gently kissed its head every night before bed. When the day dawned that the bird could once more take flight, she jumped on its back and ate it all up.

Moral: Cats are capricious, but they never lie.